Michael Karl (Ritchie)
Teaching in Arkansas
Stuck in my windshield wipers, dissolving
under the drizzle, what I at first took
to be another religious flyer
was instead my head carefully cut out
and scotch-taped to a male torso with an
uncircumcised erect penis. Given
the size of his dick, I wasn't sure if
I should have been offended or pleased. Still,
it wasn't as bad as having a steel
garbage can lid hurled through the windshield,
or the time I found my tires slashed after
an all-night student party next door. Cops,
when they learned I was a teacher, smiled and
wrote it off as a harmless prank. Getting
even is as Arkansan as bearing
a grudge or making harassing phone
calls. With such affliction, can a random
shooting be far behind? It's no joke that
some stalker's paranoia can poison
teaching by magnifying newspaper
dots of my cropped face into black obits.
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