Four

BARRY is sifting at the table with
his laptop computer. He hits the
enter key.

     COMPUTER
Others ... say ... in ... ice.

ANNA, who has obviously tried
to make herself look pretty, walks
in from the right.

     ANNA
Can you ever come to the house first?

BARRY looks up at ANNA.

     ANNA
Well?

BARRY puts his head down and
looks at his computer.

     ANNA
That's what most people would do. They would come to the house
before squatting out here in the garden. Olin and Sarah are
changing. When they come out, you'll help them fill up that hole
by the fence. I am burning up. This is too hot for October.

     BARRY
     (Speaking softly)
Greenhouse.

     ANNA
I can't hear you, Barry. What did you say?

     BARRY
     (Louder now)
Greenhouse. The ozone. Gone.

     ANNA
I know. You've told me. Doomsday is coming.

BARRY looks at ANNA.

Then why can't this garden die and end this misery. Some of the
azalea bushes are blooming again because they think it's spring.
I guess we need to act like there will be winter and spread some
needles around the flower beds. Trim these hedges. So are
you here for the afternoon?

BARRY nods at ANNA.

     ANNA
That's nice to find out. I've got to go over the doctor's office books.
I didn't sleep well last night. I hardly slept at all. Ithought1heard
them digging again, but when I walked out there was nothing. You
know I called the Sheriff's office and they were almost laughing at
me.

     BARRY
I... I... I...

     ANNA
What? What?

BARRY goes back to looking at
his computer.

     ANNA
This minister at Sarah's church is coming over to see coming to
see the house and the garden. So I have to spend some time
giving him a tour.

     BARRY
Now?

     ANNA
Yes. When he gets here.

     BARRY
Can I kiss you?

     ANNA
What did you say?

     BARRY
      (Louder now)
Kiss you. I wanted ....

OLIN, wearing work clothes,
walks out from the right pushing
a wheelbarrow that holds a
shovel and other gardening
tools. OLIN's wrist is heavily
bandaged and he has a
bandage on his head.

     OLIN
     (Talking as he is walking in)
... well here goes nothing ...

     ANNA
     (To BARRY)
You could stop fooling around on the computer and help me get
something accomplished out here.

     OLIN
... nothing goes, no sir ...

     ANNA
This garden is gonna swallow me whole. I'd like to make some
progress.

     OLIN
... we all have to stop at some moment ... yes ...

     ANNA
Olin? Where's Sarah?

OLIN looks at BARRY and ANNA.

     OLIN
...have to stop...have to...

     ANNA
Stop what, Olin?

     OLIN
     (Pulling the shovel out of the wheelbarrow)
... how do you do....owsonofabitch...nice to meet you...

     ANNA
Olin. How is your wrist?

     OLIN
... you can't whistle in the wind ... for that matter ....

     ANNA
How are you feeling?

     BARRY
Almost dead. That's how he's feeling.

     OLIN
     (Trying to whistle)
... like that ... see .... see ...

OLIN continues to whistle.

     ANNA
     (To BARRY)
He might be able to understand you. What an idiot you are.

     OLIN
... there was a train tunnel and a bunch of us were whistlin' . . .
Santa Fe went by ... we kept on ...

     ANNA
This air is too thick. It's as if bugs are crawling in my head.

     OLIN
... whoosh ... hold on t'the family jewels ....

     SARAH
     (Off stage)
Anna!

     OLIN
... right down the tracks ...

SARAH, wearing work clothes,
and CAL,wearing a suit, walk in
from the right.

     SARAH
Olin! You shouldn't - goodness. He walked away while we
were talking.

     CAL
Here he is. He's fine.

     OLIN
... don't wait for me now ...

     SARAH
What am I supposed to do?

    CAL
    (To ANNA)
She was worried.

     SARAH
I am frazzled. My nerves can't take much more. The doctors said
his brain might as well be a raisin. That's what they said. Since
he fell in the hole, he says things ... who knows where it comes
from.

     OLIN
... we can start the ceremony ....

    ANNA
     (To CAL)
I'm Anna. Sarah's niece.

     CAL
I heard about your hole. Crystals. That's what they were digging
for.

     ANNA
Yes.

     OLIN
... the procession ... make way for the Pontiff ... yourhonor ...

     ANNA
We've come to the same conclusion.

    SARAH
     (To OLIN)
Stand here by me. And hush.

     CAL
So you saw the story in the paper, too? You're not the only
property that's been damaged. There's a rash of holes.

     ANNA
I hope I catch them. I have a gun.

     OLIN
... whatever will work of course ...

     CAL
Wow. I don't know. A gun. I know this isn't the general view, but I
think this New Age movement isn't all bad. I do. I know it's an
easy thing to scoff at and ridicule. Any response against spiritual
starvation is a positive one. Don't you think?

     ANNA
No.

     CAL
Oh. Well. All right.

     ANNA
It's stupid.

     SARAH
     (To CAL)
She needs the gun, but she wouldn't use it on anybody. She
lives in this house all by herself.

     ANNA
Yes I would. Whoever cut a hole in my fence, dug a five foot hole
in my garden is a trespasser and a thief. I don't care if it was the
Pope himself. These crystals are real holy relics. You can buy
them and a Jimi Hendrix T-shirt from two hippies in a van at
the stoplight in town.

     CAL
I don't care to judge.

     ANNA
The whole business is a fraud. To call it anything less is to be
naive.

     CAL
That's pretty harsh. We aren't sure whether or not it's true. We
don't know. This could be the evolution of religion.

     ANNA
You can't believe that.

     CAL
Why not? Because I'm a Methodist minister. I feel pretty
ridiculous. Pushing old-fashioned religion in this day and age is a
like selling firewood in a heat wave. I just started and I am out-of
date.

     ANNA
How silly. Why don't you quit?

     CAL
I am here and I can't undo what I've done. I can't go sell cars.

     SARAH
The way to ruin your life is to be focused on yourself and your own
troubles. All that matters in the end is family and God. Anna is
going to let her womb dry up.

BARRY has picked up a pair of
hedge clippers out of the
wheelbarrow and is mindlessly
opening and closing them.

     ANNA
Sarah!

     CAL
     (To BARRY)
Hi. What's your take on this? Go to church?

     SARAH
I'm too old to understand why. Your sister has thrown away her
life too. It makes no sense.

     ANNA
Sarah.

     CAL
     (To BARRY)
Want to be a useless Methodist?

     SARAH
God wouldn't let Olin and I have children. Now I am tied to a ghost
and I have to suffer through what happens next.

     ANNA
This is Barry.

     SARAH
The doctors said that his brain might as well be a raisin. They told
me that right in the room. My children would have been here with
me. To go through this in this way is unbearable.

     ANNA
     (To BARRY)
Come here.

     SARAH
I never thought doctors would speak like that. A raisin. What are
you supposed to do after hearing that?

     OLIN
... this is taking a long time ...

     ANNA
Barry.

     CAL
Cal.

     ANNA
He worships at the altar of computers. That's where he found out
that the world will end in 2000.

     CAL
2000? That's only six years. That's no time.

     ANNA
Yes. No time.

     CAL
So these are the last years? I'm glad I know.

     ANNA
He could be wrong.

     CAL
How will we go?

     OLIN
... it's gone on long enough ...

     CAL
Let me guess. Can I? Hmmmm. A race war? Hear me out. The
Klan hasn't gone anywhere. They aren't what they were but they
could stir something up. There has been progress but probably
not enough for some and too much for others. The resentment is
right under the surface. And if money were to evaporate and jobs
vanished, you have instant aggression.

     ANNA
Barry isn't in the Klan.

     CAL
He doesn't have to wear a bed sheet to feel this way. That's what
makes it scary. And what makes it possible.

     ANNA
You are wrong and you are depressing me.

     CAL
All right. This is fun.

     SARAH
Olin is asleep.

Everybody looks at OLIN who is
indeed asleep.

Small pause.

     ANNA
I suppose I should go to the house and make lunch. Make
something. I don't know what.

     CAL
An oil drought that brings on an energy crisis. We have to run out.
Nonrenewable resource. There is the added bonus of hatred
of Arabs. They hoard whatever oil is left. We go to war to get it.

     ANNA
No.

     CAL
Alien invasion? He's seen a ship.

Now talking directly to BARRY.

You've seen a ship. You were kidnapped and probed. And the
aliens told you to prepare for 2000.

     ANNA
A good guess. You can run through the whole list of crackpots
and oddballs and outcasts and you won't be right. And what does
it matter, anyway? He's probably wrong. In six years we will all be
here and nothing will have changed.

     CAL
Something will change. That's the nature of life.

     ANNA
OK, we will have new gadgets, but we'll find the same old ways to
be bored with it all.

     CAL
Not nuclear war. That's over.

     ANNA
I'm telling you now you'll be disappointed.

     CAL
Oh man. I got it. He's put his money on a literal interpretation of
Revelation. This is the one. We're in rural Arkansas after all. I
should have guessed this first. I can't turn on the car radio without
hearing a misinterpretation of the Four Horseman. They are
turning an allegory with wild, far-flung symbols into calendar
dates. In their mind everything adds up to the Rapture. They
believe and they are steadfast. Yes?

     ANNA
No.

     CAL
You're kidding? All right. Dinosaurs returning? Robots revolting?
Dogs turn on us?

     ANNA
Computers. Apocalypse will come when the computers shut
down. He's on a network and they say it will happen. In 2000
something happens to the computers and the world will comes to
a halt. Electricity goes out and planes fall out of the sky. Barry
says riots, marshal law and the rest will follow. He's so sure that
he's building a cabin even deeper in the woods.

     CAL
Computers.

     OLIN
(     Getting up)
I say let's get the show on the road ...

OLIN gets a shovel out of the
wheelbarrow.

     SARAH
Olin. Just ... wait a moment.

     CAL
You had me worried.

     OLIN
I'm ready ...

     SARAH
Olin!

     CAL
I lost half a sermon on the computer at church. If computers shut
down, there will be parties in the streets.

    OLIN
     (Getting frustrated)
I'm ready ... stop sittin' on your fat asses ...

     BARRY
     (To CAL)
Get a shotgun. Churches will be the first to burn.

     SARAH
Yes, Olin. Just give me a minute.

     OLIN
I don't know who he is . . . he has the gravestone I guess...

     SARAH
Anna!

    ANNA
Yes, Sarah. I hear him.

     OLIN
     (Now walking off toward the left)
... ready ... hello, Charlie ... I don't know who he is ...

    SARAH
What am I supposed to do?

     ANNA
Go with him. We're coming.

SARAH picks up the
wheelbarrow and goes off to the
left. BARRY stays behind.

     ANNA
Go on. I'll come down there as soon as I give Cal the tour. Go.

BARRY goes.

     ANNA
All right.

     CAL
You don't have to lead me around. I wouldn't mind if you
wouldn't. If that's what you wanted to do.

     ANNA
My father built this trellis.

     CAL
We could wrestle.

     ANNA
Pardon me?

     CAL
Nothing. Don't pay any attention to me.

     ANNA
All right.

    CAL
Is Barry as strange as he seems?

     ANNA
I wouldn't put it that way. He's like a lot of people up here. He's
on a different wavelength.

     CAL
I was wondering about him.

     ANNA
Have you ever had a stray dog? He's been around for a long time.
I don't get a lot of company up here. But I usually can't tolerate any.

     CAL
I didn't think you were supposed to take in strays.

Small pause.

     ANNA
My dad wanted this magical entrance to the garden. You would
go from our back door through this tunnel and then at the end
would be the great view from the mountain. The idea was better
than the execution. The muscadine vines have grown too thick
and the wood in the trellis is old. I keep waiting for it to collapse.
Do you know about muscadines?

     CAL
Oh. The grape? Oh sure.

     ANNA
That path leads to the other gardens farther down the hill.

     CAL
Your aunt was anxious for us to get together.

     ANNA
That's my aunt.

     CAL
I wasn't sure if it was all coming from her.

     ANNA
Sarah hasn't worked for a while and she doesn't have any
children.

     CAL
Not that I'm one who should look a gift horse in the mouth. Not to
say your a gift or horse for that matter. Ah crap. I have really bad
history with this kind of ... this. My brother Paul's been married
and divorced four times. He's only 26. My family is kind of
amazed because we don't know how he finds them so fast. We've
tried to hide engagement rings, but that hasn't helped. He and his
divorce lawyer got so close, they're roommates. I'm telling you the
truth. I'm not kidding.

     ANNA
How sad.

     CAL
Sarah told me that you aren't married.

     ANNA
Sarah likes to volunteer information she shouldn't. She's right.

     CAL
My brother's had all these romantic car wrecks and I haven't had
one scrape. God, I don't even have a license. Now I'm in this
teeny church where you can literally hear the bones crack when
they sit down in the pews. I go home to my swinging bachelor
apartment in town. Now that is sad.

     ANNA
I feel unbalanced.

     CAL
You seem rather sure of yourself.

    ANNA
I'm trying to keep this haunted house from falling down. And this
garden is, well, it's always been something of a cruel joke.

     CAL
But it's beautiful up here.

     ANNA
Anyway. It all falls on my shoulders. My mother and father are
gone and my sister couldn't help if she wanted to and she doesn't
want to. I'd like to not feel resentful, but there you are. Sometimes
I have to check to see if my genitals haven't run away.

     CAL
I know.

     ANNA
Yes.

Pause.

     CAL
You have a sister.

     ANNA
Right.

    CAL
Your last name is Castle.

     ANNA
Yes. How did you-

     CAL
Oh man. You're Aurora's sister. Sarah's last name isn't Castle.
Oh man.

     ANNA
You know Aurora?

    CAL
Yes, I'm Cal Gaston. We went to school together.

     ANNA
Of course.

     CAL
Where is your sister living now?

     ANNA
I don't know.

     CAL
You don't know?

     ANNA
Yes. I suppose I ought to show you the rest of the garden. We'll
have to do it quick because I have to get to these books by this
afternoon. It's too hot to be outside.

     CAL
I would really like to see her.

     ANNA
She left ten years ago. Did you know her?

     CAL
Oh yes.

     ANNA
So you know about her?

     CAL
What do you mean?

DR. WAY walks in from the right.
He stops when he sees ANNA
and CAL. Then he walks into the
trellis.

     ANNA
Are you trying to find her? Because I don't know where she is. I
got a collect call from a jail in Tulsa. She might still be in Tulsa. I
didn't accept the charges.

     CAL
All right.

     DR. WAY
     (In the trellis)
Hey!

     ANNA
You're young.

     CAL
I think-

     DR. WAY
     (In the trellis)
How do you get out of this thing?!

     ANNA
You'll see your limit.

     CAL
Somebody is in there.

     ANNA
You get the shaft enough. The line becomes quite clear.

     CAL
Hello?!

DR. WAY walks out of the trellis.

     DR. WAY
Whoa.

     ANNA
Excuse me. Can I help you?


     DR. WAY
     (Showing them a handful of grapes)
Grapes!

     CAL
They're muscadine.

SARAH, OLIN and BARRY walk
in from the left.

SARAH
Anna, we have to put Olin in a home. I can't do this anymore!

     ANNA
     (To DR. WAY)
Are you looking for somebody?

     SARAH
He soiled himself! There is a huge stain.

AURORA comes in from the left
and walks directly into the trellis.

     DR. WAY
     (Starts to eat the grapes)
Delicious!

     ANNA
Until I know who you are, don't eat my grapes.

     SARAH
He might as well be dead.

     DR. WAY
     (Can't talk because of the grapes)
Auroba ... if behund ...

     ANNA
What?

     DR. WAY
     (Still can't talk)
Auroba!

     SARAH
I might as well be dead.

SARAH and OLIN walk off to the
right. AURORA comes out of the trellis.

     AURORA
Hey.

     ANNA
Aurora.

     AURORA
Look who's back from the dead. I'm sorry for ... I'm clean
now. Free. Anna, you won't believe the change. You won't
believe. I know and I'm sorry. He's responsible. Dr.
Way. He's ...

A small pause.

     AURORA
What's happened to this place?

Lights dim.

End of Four

To Five

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