|Top 10 Possible Reasons why the editors of the Arkansas
Literary Forum are rejecting your literary masterpiece:
The voices in our heads are screaming, “No!”
monkeys overhead made a sorrowful noise.
strong opinions around here—not necessarily intelligent and informed opinions,
mind you, but strong ones nonetheless—and they did not favor your work.
be sure that we weren’t being too subjective, we tossed your work into a river
to see if it would float. It
dream, Moses the Editor came down from the mountain, holding out your
manuscript, and smote us with his staff.
convinced that, secretly, Seamus Heaney, Wislawa Szymborska, Yusef Komunyakaa,
and Wole Soyinka, James Tate, and Carolyn Forché have some kind of Arkansas connection, and so we are saving
space for them.
prefer to plant a kiss, like a star, upon your forehead rather than publish you.
contradict ourselves? Very well,
then . . . we contradict ourselves! We
are large! We contain multitudes!
literature is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
seriously, if we published this manuscript, this miraculous feat of language, we
fear it would set a standard of unscalable heights and, therefore, we should
never be able to publish anyone else. Literature,
as we know it, would cease to exist in the face of such splendor.
And, so, for the future, and for the children, we must say, “no.”
Arkansas Literary Forum