K. cannot countenance
He is trying not to cause
But his father will not visit.
K. feels responsible, even though he canít know
He stands at attention before the fireplace,
He finds himself agreeing with his father.
On his calling card, the emblem of jackdaws
He is taken unawares by the serving girl
K. doubles into multiple K.ís Ė
K. has discovered his true punishment
So K. chooses to be disobedient
But his father is too important to speak
Wouldnít it have been nice
someone who likes the same things
toys of the future, made
K. opens the book and begins to chant.
He takes some comfort
Even if the father dies,
K. has been circumcised
This ought to have brought them
Instead, it imposed a distance.
Of course there is a real castle
The servantís entrance is to the back.
Worse than heavenís silence, he feels,
K. understands why
Easier to love the one who didnít live
K. takes himself much too seriously.
No matter how far he tries to get away,
K. halves the distance so often,
Sometimes the dreams seem stronger
Who are the voices on the phone?
His father has sent messengers
Is all of nature like this, K. wonders,
He has seen so many mutilated bodies
He would like to share their stories
The ones who suffer and die
A child spins by, a mad top.
Whenever his father comes home,
K. has found the perfect woman.
He would like to fill her with his father,
She enjoys watching the panthers
Where is the mother in all this?
The letter K. wrote to him
She would appreciate
K. makes everything so complicated.
Both would like K. to stop worrying
Such engagements can only break up.
K. is still living with his parents.
He keeps fading in and out
The only words his father ever said
K. studies a workmanís mangled arm.
K. must be as hard as machines
Machines are the law now, K. thinks.
The problem with words is once they escape,
There is no cure for this disease
Just like his father, K. wants
K. no longer writes about himself
It would be criminal to love the sanatorium,
He fears that any child he engenders
Itís time that K. finally made
He cannot, because his
K. would like to marry his father
K. would like a different father.
He likes the one with the black patch
K. longs to be kidnapped,