Miller Williams

A Note to the Alien on Earth

Here, in the interest of time, some words to work with,
assuming you’re pretending to be a man
or woman and understand English.  If this should find you,
know that I’m glad to help any way I can.

A letter beginning “Dear Friend” is not from a friend.
A “free gift” is redundant and not free.
A teenager is sex with skin around it.
The one word used as much as “I” is “me”.

People who are politically correct
which means never offending by what they say,
will lie about other things, too.  Be careful with them.
And people insulting groups of people may

look in the mirror too much or not enough.
What you say is not what anyone hears.
Be wary of one who is always or never sad.
And try to be patient with us.  It looks bad,
but we’ve only had a few hundred thousand years.


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T. Chandler